Three post-doctors can’t resist a childhood
It is said that the path of military scientific research is clear, and she has access to the best research institutions in China.
She can come to her own door and use her own infatuation and intentional habits of the bugs to know the institution’s mentor in a few words.
She also played a good piano, which is a pillar in the cultural activities of her university. It belongs to a class of students who are jealous and jealous among the classmates. She has come to me for what she is looking for?Isn’t it to anger me?
I met her once and talked, but I didn’t think there was any big problem in her life direction.
We talked a little bit about the conventional problems of studying abroad.
I was impressed that she had a little “exam anxiety disorder”. She was a winner of the National English Style Contest, but her IELTS score was very unsatisfactory, far lower than the usual test score.
She also took the GRE test. Because she lost her confidence after the answer, the whole canceled out.
She said that she had an inexplicable fear in the face of all the exams, and rarely played normally, so she lost some confidence.
In China’s academic research environment, judging from some of the cases I have limited contact with, there are indeed a lot of weirdness. A researcher needs too much wisdom to adapt beyond academic research.
Not to mention, one cannot give up a certain love of his life because he is afraid of the seriousness of the environment, but must learn to fight with heaven and earth. The chairman once said that there is also endless joy.
The problem is such a person with deep life worries. Under all these complicated situations, her inner tolerance is so weak that her spirit is beginning to gradually collapse.
There was a long follow-up exchange between me and her.
Slowly, I found that the huge and terrible iceberg floating underwater was more dangerous than leaving her whole ship covered on some days.
She is a complete lack of confidence!
I don’t know why she is so unconfident.
She couldn’t recognize everything she did.
What she sees as someone else ‘s great achievement, she just considers it as usual, and she always sees the higher standards that she has n’t done-I ‘m definitely not bragging about her, this is typically a kind ofLack of self-awareness!
Ambitious ambition is not bad, but because the ambitious goal cannot be achieved in one day, causing worry, depression, and even full of mental crisis, it is a psychological problem that must be faced seriously.
I am not a psychotherapist, but based on a sense of non-professional responsibility, and based on the friendship between “master and apprentice” we set, I am determined to guide her into a journey of self-discovery.
Let me talk about some soil methods first. I suggest that she watch a typical Japanese “dunk slam dunk”, learn from the positive character sakuragi, and learn the pure energy of learning from Uncle Lei Feng.
As a “post-80s”, she had never heard of “Slam Dunk”, which really made me angry!
I said that after you watch this video, talk to me about the issues of self-confidence.
She really watched it, but the observation was fruitless.
She said that black people are funny enough, but the question is, is it self-confidence to be as ridiculous as Sakuragi, and conceited to an almost shameless level?
I said, realized that you forgot Sakuragi’s 20,000 shots training, but the almost self-conscious psychological hint of “I’m a genius, I’m a genius” cannot be ignored. This is the original spirit of 20,000 shots.Source.
The central idea of this film is that spiritual power is the source of real change in living water. Change starts from the heart. Attitude is not everything, it is also the ancestor who created everything.
Self-confidence is a psychological feature of stability, and it cannot be changed overnight; but first of all, you have to believe in yourself blindly. This is a question of attitude change.
Then, in order to be concrete and expect reality, you need to start with some external aspects that are easy to improve self-confidence.
For example, dress yourself.
Draw a suitable outfit, make hair, and change into a more youthful and beautiful fashion.
Different looks will give you a different self-feel-even if it is just an illusion at first.
In this way, you can understand why Mr. Xu is always so focused on being a modern person starting from dressing up, because that is really the most effective method, and it is often immediate.
A self-confident person, for others, all self-confidence is self-confidence!
Starting from showing self-confidence, if you often succeed, you will become addicted and repeatedly show this self-confidence. Tricks can also become a habit. When a chemical reaction occurs slowly in your heart, you will get used to self-confidence.
A person who steals things repeatedly is a thief, and a person who repeatedly expresses self-confidence is a self-confident person-to be self-confident, you do need some training in the beginning.
The development of things often comes first from the surface and then from the inside, which conforms to the general law of nature.
Of course, self-confidence or low self-esteem still has its profound psychological roots, and technical and spiritual will alone are not fundamental.
We can’t grind or trim people’s self-confidence or low self-esteem from crying newborns, or from DNA tests. As far as I know, there is no scientific report on this. I would rather believe that this self-cognitive state of a person is, to a certain extent, his / her early growth experience and education.
Every inferior child, with few exceptions, is the product of a bad education environment.
When she was very young, she went to school every day, then did her homework, and was kept in the house to practice the piano.
Although she plays a good piano, she has never been without music.
She can remember the score, even if she doesn’t take a look, but it must be placed there.
Once the score is taken away, she will definitely play wrong because she has no sense of security.
She needs to grasp external things like music scores to gain a sense of security and confidence.
This confidence built on something else is that former Thai Prime Minister Thaksin, not self-confidence.
What’s more frightening is that her mother always felt that she was stupid. No matter how she struggled, no matter what she achieved, her mother’s assertion was like a poison dart, which deeply penetrated into her subconscious for many years.
She has always had a view: “I’m stupid, everything I get is just because I paid more than others, and that doesn’t change the basic fact: I’m still stupid.
“Mother, like most of the entire generation in China, lost the opportunity to go to college and receive higher education because of the” cultural revolution. ”
This is almost a chronological illness. This generation of parents pay extra attention to the education of their children. Some people are paranoid and are almost sick. They wholeheartedly hope to fulfill their unfinished wishes on their children, and even overwhelm their entire life meaning.The body of the child.
The success of their children is all about the value of their lives, and the only way to become one is to go to college.
There is only one way to be admitted to the university, and that is to follow the comprehensive and pressing education method that they have given out in advance!
Her mother is such a strong parent. What kind of word is “good”?
Because of this kind of educational thought of quick success and quick success, it is bound to bring about one or two disorders of dysphoria. From then on, the qualitative “this child is stupid” has almost “damaged once and for all” the physical health of a child.
Worry, inferiority, and too much focus on results.
This is the child’s mental state and the way she sees the world.
When she had been sent to Zhibo, she felt the worst loss in her heart, which was also a natural result.
This child, no accident, she will get the highest education and will have rich professional knowledge.
However, she doesn’t love herself enough and won’t enjoy life. Where is the meaning of her continued life?
Across the ocean, she dreams of re-entering a world-renowned laboratory in the United States.
This dream is rosy, but I don’t see what it can change.
Reading Dr. Yang will have the same huge scientific research pressure, the future of graduation will be chaotic, and all existing problems will be encountered again.
In her life, the escalation of this dream is actually the simplest repetition. Each “realization” of the dream will inevitably bring major loss and pain. If life does not solve this first, it will be more serious.A particularly urgent proposition!
Spiritual freedom and the tinyness of life are the soil for cultivating a sound personality.
Unfortunately, during one’s most abundant and keen childhood, she was locked up at home to practice the piano, and even “have barely touched anything”!
How many parents do we educate our children in this way?
What is the significance of art training if you can’t help them feel the diversity of life, cultivate love for life, and learn to enjoy the beauty of our living world?
If a child is so worried, low self-esteem, over-emphasis on results, no matter how high a degree, deeper knowledge?
In MSN, I told her that to learn to have fun in life, you must learn to enjoy the daily life in life-in order to maintain the blog and experience the twists and turns, she easily and unfortunately gave up the research direction of bugs.
Is life just to be happy?
I felt a huge block in my chest and asked, wasn’t life first about happiness?
However, I think . she said that today’s unhappiness may fulfill the great happiness in the future.
But what is “the future”?
“After” is a useless concept imagined by the human brain. There is no “after” in life. All we feel is “today”.
If all “today” is unhappy, you will lose the ability to feel happy “after”!
It’s like how you feel after knowing Zhibo this time-you must have assumed a lot before, if you can read a PhD, how happy it should be, but no!
You feel that your previous suffering is not worth it, so you are lost.If reading a PhD is wonderful, then you should read happily every day. “Every day” has the ultimate polarity in your life!
You actually think that life is not for the happiness at first, and that you have lived for more than 20 years. What kind of concept does this education give you?
That’s against humanity.
The principle of happiness is higher than the principle of knowledge. Knowledge is for building higher levels of happiness, but it cannot be a counter-force to basic human needs.
You do n’t have enough fun in your life, you do n’t love life enough, you do n’t love yourself, and you are not confident; you are too worried, too important, and the way to change is to relax your mindset and relax.
When I talk about the words “enjoy” and “happiness”, it is to remove your nature from obscuration, and use excessively outdated educational thinking. This education has made you lose your true self, stretch your limbs, and re-likeChildren breathe like that, open their eyes that way to feel the world, you must be a true childhood!
Speaking of which, I will cry.
The months of communication with her cost me too much energy and hurt me.
If you try to encourage a person who has lost basic self-confidence in this way, desperately cheer her up, and resist protracted resistance to negative thoughts, you may understand my tiredness at the moment.
I thought about it, she said, I want to go out and buy clothes right away, and eat ice cream desperately . Good sign, this is even more useful than the three post-doctoral fellows you read later!